It was a little thing called Cancer

"Sorry if I get emotional..."
     In my heart I snickered.
     I didn't understand why she said it or why it would ever mean that much, but then she poured out her heart... She let us know that she lost her best friend that year. It wasn't because of a drug overdose or a suicidal call.
It was this little thing they called cancer.
No one really understood why it happened or what the cause was. Some people wondered if the bruises her daddy gave her clogged up her system. There were rumours it was the drugs she did in her car inbetween 1st and 2nd. No one really knew what cancer was so they made their own diagnostics. I wish they knew it was were the white cells get attacked by the red cells.

Beautiful

He said, "I'm sorry little child, you're always going to be beautiful."

Love isn't real.

I am suppose to be thinking about him.
     but I was thinking about you yet I was dreaming about him.


"The brain plays tricks when it comes to love."

Sorry

The truth is, even if you try your hardest or your best you still won't always make it.

You still might end up never reaching your own bar of perfect. 

"I want someone to break your heart, but I hope someone else fixes it."

I have papers scattered around my room and inside my head. They're things that actually mean something. Like that one song I listened to while falling in love with you. The two lines that someone would call pointless but others would call poetry. 

I don't know how to write anymore. I don't know how to live or how to love. Do we always have to go through the heartbreak. I never remember wanting this. I never wanted to fall in love with you but you are the one who pushed it, the one who said "I love you" first.

I kissed you first,

        but you kissed me back. 

I think you gave the first hug. 

You initiated the first conversation. 

You made me fall in love when I didn't want to. 

Darling, you're eyes are made up of sadness.

Right now at this very moment I don't want to say that I'm living.
I want the world to think that I am gone.
I don't want to say that I am alive through the biggest heartbreak, but it is weird because he didn't really end it.

All he did was tell me he still loves her but at the same time can look me in the eye and say that he loves me.



He'll look at me.



Then he'll smile.



& say Emma I love you, but how can someone love two people the same way?
Love isn't suppose to make you believe you're happy.
Love makes you happy.
& if I died right now I know life would go on for the people who love me.


Life always goes on for others.

Society doesn't kill everyone

From the first glance, you can tell something's different.
You can tell something inside them is different and it's beautiful.
You can tell by the background on their blogs and by the way they write every line.
You admire me.
I admire you.
You're the people who inside want to leave and on the outside are too laid back to ever let anyone know.
I think you're beautiful.