They Called Us Sheeps

You'd know why I try to hide my teeth when we're talking and you're too close

You'd know why I hate smiling while you're right there and your eyes aren't looking at mine

You would hear all my stories that I only tell God when I pray

     and you wouldn't ask me why all the time because you would know exactly why

You'd understand why I try to only eat when I'm at home

You'd know why I fell in love with him, and why I fell out

If you really knew me you wouldn't ask me why or when. & you wouldn't ask who or what...

Lost in "my" Paris

Paris was where the good looking guys didn't matter and the writing only did. Where sitting down, alone, in a coffee shop was the best thing to do on the weekends. It's where writing was the only thing you could think of, and the thinking would never stop.

But this was only "my" Paris

My first day in Paris seemed familiar, it felt like I was there before. Maybe in my dreams. I remember walking in with only two seats in back, one was by the guy I used to like in middle school; I should've tried something new. I should've sat by the weird kid in the very corner, but he kind of creeped me out.

But Paris helped me find myself. I wanted to speak up and I wanted to sit in the back with the weird kid now. I'd find myself falling in love with the smell of coffee and the brightness of the streets at night. & in Paris I still loved the way he'd look at me, even though he wasn't ever looking. 

I wanted to stay in Paris forever but I was lost.

She's caught up in the world of High School

When she goes to sleep at night she hates who she's become and who she has to keep being.

She walks down the hall like she doesn't care & like she never did.
She tells herself she's beautiful, even though she always was and even though she still is.
She pretends to be in love with that guy who's only in the movies.
She acts like he's her soulmate,
     but she's really in love with the Junior who's in Marching Band.

The One Way Phone Call

He said he couldn't handle a relationship right now.

"I don't wanna ruin your Summer.."

Ha, but you did. I would think about you like crazy. Every time I saw a young couple who didn't notice the world around them, I'd think of us. When they knew the world was wrong because "this isn't just young love," I'd think about how stupid we were together. I'd think about just running up to your door and planting one on you. & then I would think about egging your house or making you laxative cookies, but the best friend stopped me. You should really thank her.

" (sigh) Kay.."

I didn't want him to realize that this killed me inside. I didn't want him to hear all the heavy breathes I had to take before I could say just one word, so I would pull the phone away.

"Dr. Phil, I promise I don't wanna do this either. I, jus' can't be there for you right now."

"I'm goin' to the best friend's house. Love you. Bye."

I can't believe I said this. How did I say the word "love" after this. I was so stupid to even let my lips release the words like they were nothing. I knew he wasn't going to say it back, but my lips and tongue already let the words through.

"Bye."

He never said it back & for some weird reason it makes my brain wonder.
But now I look back and laugh at myself because I thought I was so in love.

Dear Santa Claus

Dear Santa Claus,

Can you teach me about ♡ because last Christmas I had someone, but not anymore.

Santa, 
Can you teach me to love? Because with your magic you can make me a perfect man. But I guess he wouldn't be human.. or would he, Santa?

Could you get me love? Because I haven't felt it in awhile and I know how you can do anything. Please, please. PLEASE let him notice me, because I try so hard all the time. I  PINKY promise Santa. I really do try. If you get the cookies don't you think I deserve something too? I mean c'mon, I leave out the best cookies and different flavors just incase you don't like some of them. Don't you know how hard ♡ is? Please Santa. I'm almost positive that Ms. Claus wasn't always sure she wanted to live in the North Pole forever.


...

But I guess you could just help me be inspired; help me be one of the best. Santa, could you help me become a writer?



♡, a young girl with writers block.



Santa, help me become a writer ♥