The One Way Phone Call

He said he couldn't handle a relationship right now.

"I don't wanna ruin your Summer.."

Ha, but you did. I would think about you like crazy. Every time I saw a young couple who didn't notice the world around them, I'd think of us. When they knew the world was wrong because "this isn't just young love," I'd think about how stupid we were together. I'd think about just running up to your door and planting one on you. & then I would think about egging your house or making you laxative cookies, but the best friend stopped me. You should really thank her.

" (sigh) Kay.."

I didn't want him to realize that this killed me inside. I didn't want him to hear all the heavy breathes I had to take before I could say just one word, so I would pull the phone away.

"Dr. Phil, I promise I don't wanna do this either. I, jus' can't be there for you right now."

"I'm goin' to the best friend's house. Love you. Bye."

I can't believe I said this. How did I say the word "love" after this. I was so stupid to even let my lips release the words like they were nothing. I knew he wasn't going to say it back, but my lips and tongue already let the words through.

"Bye."

He never said it back & for some weird reason it makes my brain wonder.
But now I look back and laugh at myself because I thought I was so in love.