I can always remember your anniversary. But it isn't the anniversary between two people who are in love. Yours anniversary is another year that you aren't here living. Another year you're not breathing in this smokey air.
You're not the only death I remember, but you are the only anniversary.
I have had people in my life pass away, friends that were "close." & as awful as this sounds I forget their yearly death mark. I always forget the exact date they stopped breathing. Your day is different. You day is on my day. Your death is mourned on the same day that my birth is celebrated.
& there is always a point in the day where I look into dad's eyes and see pain instead of happiness. You were part of his everything.
I was raised with you when I was little. I used to tell myself I hated you growing up. The words came up randomly when I got frustrated, and I'm sorry. Maybe you passed away on my birthday to teach me how to love or maybe how to forgive. Either way you taught me something.
& I thank you for that.
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